The Existential Crisis

Sometimes I am not sure what exactly I am trying to prove, to whom, and for what. Then I take a good look around, stalk a couple of profiles and realize that I am just running against myself. I am trying to make today better than what it was for me yesterday. I am just trying to get a bit more done and better.

I am not even sure why exactly I am taking so much pressure.

I haven’t been the kind that runs after money.

I am too quick to downplay the achievements because they aren’t as big, honestly, and people do even better, so what is there to be so proud of?

I am just running this endless race, every day, another mile gets covered, and two get added.

Some of these days, I cover 4 for every two additional miles, and some of the days, I just sit and wonder.

Sometimes I feel that I am like a hamster on its wheel- I am just moving around getting the job done.

Sometimes, I fail to get the job done too!

I haven’t even had the time to celebrate the successes.

Personal life seems a luxury, and while I am sure someone would give me a gyaan about how life matters and all, today, I am not even sure what life would be like minus work.

Sometimes I feel that my work is the escape I need from my life.

As a kid, it used to be books and studies. Now, it’s work!

Sometimes, I look back at things and wonder where everything went wrong.

Sometimes, I need a shoulder to cry on, and sometimes I just appreciate being totally alone.

I am not even sure if I want to be alone or lonely.

There is so much inside that I want to share, but every time I try to, I make a joke, and suddenly, I don’t want to share anymore.

The only thing I know is that I wasn’t like this.

I was different, BUT I don’t remember who I was.

It’s just a blurred image that I am trying to force fit into what I think I was or I truly am.

In all honesty, though, I am clueless.

The brain right now, just wants to rest!